Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
My penis needs a shock collar
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
