I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
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