Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
