I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
