I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
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