Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
