Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
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