i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
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