I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
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Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
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Thank you for not boning my boss.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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