Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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