You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
