I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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