A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
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