im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
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