hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
