my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
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