I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Well I just put wine in my tea
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
