before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I just googled if crying burns calories
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Randomize
