Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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