just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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