I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize