If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize