some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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