ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
