Where is the hickey?
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
