You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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