and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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