okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
