all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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