i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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