I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Randomize