were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
