You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Randomize
