just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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