She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
We are two peas in an std pod
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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