i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
