I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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