ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
