remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
