Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
