We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize
