so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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