What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
