So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
