brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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