Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.