I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.