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What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
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