she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
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