Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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