How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
