i think my tv is drunk
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
