After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
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