OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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