A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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