3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
