dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
