the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize