So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
