Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
PS: I just woke up from my shower
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
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