do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize